Thursday, July 25, 2013

Let's talk about Sex


This article branches off from my article about Women in LARP. As with any discussion about gender issues, Sex is more often then not involved. I didn't want to bog down that article, which had a lot of beautiful points and deserves to be looked as such, with an article that is as varied and sensitive as Sex.  
That being said: This article contains material unsuitable to children and perusal at the workplace. Likewise, if the discussion of intimacy is something you do not wish to read about, then please close this blog asap. I appreciate your reading the site, but I would rather you not aggravate yourself then me having to pull my punches. This is your warning, please take it.

As a Storyteller, I've received the occasional scene of my players interacting with each other and things striking off. As a player, I've engaged in scenes where my character has been intimate with others. As a gamer, I've heard stories of things going on behind closed doors that would make our decidedly darker characters blush. It's a subject that is dripping with subtext, but is oft times rarely discussed.

So, let's talk about Sex.

Before we begin, I should probably explain my standings. I think that sex is great, but that we as a species and as a Western Culture have both demonized and mythologized the process, leading to examples of extreme repression and extreme expression. I think sex is something that should be done with someone you trust, at least as far with having extremely intimate access to your body. Keep that in mind.

Playing in a LARP is, in my belief, a giant Social Contract amongst the people involved. Player or Storyteller, it is an agreement (whether spoken or implied) that they are in this space together and are working together for a common goal (enjoyment). Within that contract is the directorate to be aware of subject matter you don't want to experience and, as it comes up, expressing yourself in a fashion that you do not wish to experience and back out of it. Sex is a sensitive subject, some people may just not *want* to experience sex in their gaming. This should be respected above all other things.

So how do we know when to bring sex up for our Characters? Easy: We discuss it with them.

At the core of every scene, there should be a negotiation. An area where the players sit down and discuss what is cool and what isn't cool and how this manifests in both live game and through scenes between game (if any exist). By this I mean that each person needs to state, clearly and concisely what they expect out of this interaction between their characters.

Which brings me to a key point: Know the players with whom you're doing this with. My first night in Changeling with my Spring Court Wizened. My friend was playing a Fairest of the Autumn Court, and their main way of handling stress was to get laid. The setting was the funeral. So my friend, who was crossplaying as male, approached me five minutes into my arrival and said to my character "You wouldn't by any chance be homosexual, would you?" <beat> "would you like to be for a few minutes." Now, my friend and I know each other, we've discussed weird and strange shit on a fairly regular basis including sexual content. The concept of Too Much Info has never really been a thing for me (I lost it some point during Puberty, along with coordination and a decent singing voice), so we had built up an understanding and a rapport. It helped that I was playing Spring Court, the Court of Desire, who are not know for being particular in their wants, so long as they get it.

So when my friend made that play during game, I nodded and we went out of scene for a while.

But that's an atypical set up, we've known each other and our comfort zones for quite a while so we can riff off of one another. If you're dealing with someone who, you feel, their character and yours are entering into an intimate relationship, you need to Negotiate what this means, how this will manifest and you guys need to keep negotiating as time goes on. Life isn't static, and neither are your PCs. Especially if you're playing games like World of Darkness or Dystopia Rising where things have a way of getting worse. You should have these discussions regularly. Now tips on that:

Be Open: Where do you see this going or not going

Be Honest: What level of commitment are you as a player wanting?

Be Nice: Don't force your wants on the other person. This may be make believe sexy times, but you're 1) talking about a potentially sensitive subject and 2) forcing your will on a human being and a character of theirs. Don't be an ass.

Now to question becomes: Well, what happens after we've decided we want our characters to be lovers/friends with benefits/casual encounter/etc? How do we go about portraying that? There are two methods to go about doing this I recommend:

Fade to Black: You don't have to RP the scene, but it takes the time for you both to state that it did in fact happen. This is what me and my friend did in Changeling. This also tends to be the preferred method for players in monogamous relationships as it doesn't look like Adultery The Board Game.

Downtimes: The thing about Salon/Theatre style is that people can do scenes in between games. As a Storyteller, I've received scenes from players about their sexual exploits. It's the cost of what happens when there is a Legacy of Mages who are dedicated specifically to the BDSM scene. As a player, I've done this a few times. Email and Chat scenes where I and the players simulate scenes.

There is another type, which I'm not particularly keen on, and that's actually having sex. I remember reading about a Nordic LARP where sex was done physically and openly in that space. That's cool, if that's your thing, but I'm of the mind that unless there is already an out of character relationship between the two. I mean, Nordic LARPs are all about immersion, but I find that when it comes to sex I would rather it be because someone likes me and not because our characters would do it.

Which brings me to my next point. You're in a situation where, sometimes, the relationships carries over the roleplay/physical lines. By that I mean close spaces, intimate holding, briefs caresses. These sorts of things. There are games that are very low tolerance on the physical touching aspect. Camarilla isn't too big on it, but so long as the player consents, it's cool. But the question becomes balancing the act, and also knowing where the boundaries lie for you.

Let's use this as an example. In Requiem, I'm playing a Vampire who is part of a family of very sexually active individuals. We tend to be affectionate to one another, sometimes obviously so. For example, the player who plays my cousin is wont to sit next to me, or ask for piggy back rides as we share laughs. I often caress her cheek in an all too familiar way and so on. There are three levels of thinking going on during these kinds of exchanges for me, and honestly, they deserve their own article as well. I've broken the three parts down as Id, Ego, Super-Ego

Id: This is an attractive person who is being affectionate to me and I want more of this

Ego: This is my friend and we're in the middle of a roleplay scene

Super-Ego: This is my cousin, we've been together for a long time and she knows me and I her in more than familial ways.

I'm of the mind (heh) that the Id should be removed from the equation, and I try. LARPing is about imagination, which is part of the more higher functioning bits of the brain. Can you explore Id impulses in LARP? Oh yes, but aside from trusting the instincts of the Id that allow for decisions making and gut reactions, ignore the rest for Roleplay. I'm harsh like this because I personally am not a fan of crossing the OOC/IC boundaries in this regard. I've seen drama (and been party to drama) when the actions of their characters fuel the actions of their players and vice versa.

Now, the question becomes:  What say does the Storyteller have in all of this?  I'm the kind of ST who has been sent scenes of foursomes from players, having lead BDSM scenes for others. I think it's important for STs to openly state the kind of themes they're willing to explore, including sex. That's one of the reasons I built Reign. Reign is a Mage who has made gender fluid not just a concept, but a literal reality. Reign is at any given point masculine, feminine, both or neither and keeps it as such. A Pro Dom/me, Reign holds court at their club, also called Reign. Reign is referred to as "they", refers to themself as "we" and states simply "We are whatever we wish to be. We Are. Simple as that." I built Reign to explore the themes of Power (which is what Mage is half about) and Sex.

Now, when I'm no longer a storyteller, those aspects of the NPC (if not the NPC itself) may be moved to the back of the list at the discretion of the Storyteller. It's our job to state what we're comfortable with and stick to it, or respectfully say "I'm not entirely comfortable, give me the liner notes, call me if you need pulls, but it's your thing". And that's the key word: Respectfully. If you can't respect someone else in any of the ways I've listed above, you shouldn't be doing this kind of scene work.

I'd like to finish off with  a video by Emma Wieslander. Emma ran a Nordic LARP that focused on Love. She commented that in games that purport to be live action, "you are more likely to be killed than to be fucked", Which she felt was a bit odd. She also suggested a method to convey the intimacy of sex. In some games, that was normally symbolized by holding hands for longer than three minutes (which makes NO sense to me) or backrubs (which if that's the case, I'm a massive Whore). Wieslander suggested a method of the two engaging in sex to hold both of each other's hands and engage each other's eyes. I like this method, it's not too dissimilar from the "energy transfer" exercise I learned in Grad School. It's intimate, and there are no illusions as to what this could be. I think that could be a healthy way to share the experience and emotions of sex and intimacy without crossing too many boundaries. And that, is the key.

Later


Emma Wieslander's Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2c0yFnOhQwM

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Women and LARP

Last Night, I went to a panel on Women in LARPing. It was moderated by my dear friend (and my Mage assistant Storyteller), Senia and the panel consisted of my friends Allyson, Abby, Jilly, and Jess, all of whom are women who I have roleplayed with through some form or another for the past four or five years. Also present was Michele, who works for LAIRE, a boffer LARP out of New Jersey.

The panel itself was interesting in that we (by that I mean the local scene) don't normally talk about larping out in "The open". And the thing is, I *like* panels and broad discussion groups. So being at a site where having a group of people talk about Larping from as much of a layman's stand point as possible. It was interesting and I would love to see more of them and try to arrange them.

But back to the subject at hand. The panel covered a few topics. One of which, and probably importantly, was sexual content. I'm not going to touch on that, as Sex in LARP really deserves it's own article. The panel covered a few topics, which I will list and comment on individually.

1) Representation: Most of the games represented by the panelist claimed a relatively strong percentage of women being present there-in. In fact, some games have decidedly more women then men, which in turn becomes a problem as their in game culture includes specific gender roles. One of the things I've noticed here was a comment Michele had made about female players being the most proactive in recruitment for new players to join the game. It was unspoken why, but I have my theories which I'll go into later. Jill had mentioned that she hadn't realized that she was of a few dedicated female players in Vampire the Requiem until it was just her and another woman at a meeting for the game, but ultimately it's never been an issue.

2) Character Gender Roles: There was a discussion about gender roles in game. From what the panelists mentioned, it really only comes up in character unless it is something that a player wishes to explore with a PC and the PCs around them. In games where it's questionable as to whether or not you're human, what does gender really mean? Some Vampires don't consider themselves human anymore, Changelings even more so. When you were altered to a summer's breeze by a Faerie, what is gender? Jess brought up her adventures as her Dystopia Rising PC Pup. Pup is a Lascarian, who hate being exposed to sunlight. She covered up entirely, and because of the character's apathy towards gender roles, it wasn't noticed until Pup finally took off her mask. One of the Pup's major traits was to nuzzle her friends. Players who believed Pup to be male were often uneasy with these actions, but once they realized Pup was female, their reaction was very open and accepting. This leads to an interesting concept that they were less trusting of a male doing these actions, but had no problem with a female character expressing herself that affectionately.

Jill mentioned that her Lloegyr character, Rozalyn, was focused solely on getting married and having a baby. That was it, and her attempts to attain drove her into a dark place while she had to force herself to play the role of the beautiful courtier

3) OOC Issues: Jess had mentioned a situation where, in her first LARPing experience, she was playing a woman in her 50's. Jess is an athletic 20-something, and most of the players didn't acknowledge that she and her character were not alike in this matter and proceeded to hit on her. The reverse had happened previously in Changeling, where Jill played a 13 (14 by the end of Chronicle) Changeling girl. It was noted at the beginning of every game Emma (the NPC) was present that she was such a minor and that hitting on her was out of the question. Another incident was brought up with one player in Requiem who did not know his boundary lines. Ally commented on her inability to recall a woman in LARPing who hasn't been inappropriately approached during games. Jess also recounted issues where a male player took her sheet from her to "help her out with combat" and assumed a domineering tone.

The problem ultimately comes down to personal space, which is an issue that is very much important to me. Ask when you'd like to get into their space and always respect their answers and their refusal at any time.

4) Cross Play: It was noted that several of the women players have extensively played male characters. Senia and I had ties with her male Character, Louis. Jill is playing the Sovereign of the Night Court of Changelings, who is a very sexually active male. In the end, the fact that they were male was just a part of their character. This was the part that was interesting to me, and I have to comment. After the discussion, I thought about it. It's easier for women to play male characters, no jokes, it doesn't detract from their role. Then I remembered a scene in a LARP where a drag show was held. I actively didn't go to the drag show at the LARP because I felt that it was being done for a gag. Gender issues wasn't a major theme in this LARP or this module, so it was both detracting and all for entertainment. After this panel, I realized that my feelings came from the fact that females could play guys and no one would bat an eye (once people re-programmed their nouns) but the only way a guy could cross play as a female, it's as a joke. It's the double standard that it's okay for a girl to be a guy, but it's awkward for a guy to play a girl. I've no real answer to this, I'm just left questioning the implications.

In the end, the feeling I got was this: Women LARP. The End.

The main issue comes in not from the notion of Women in LARPing, but Women in the Geek world in general. The notion that they are rare and that their cred as geeks are shit compared to guys.

Dear Geek Guys, you're wrong. And allow me to tell you why.

It was about five years ago. I'd just gotten out of college, which was completely geek unfriendly, my neighborhood here in the Bronx really doesn't have an outlet for geeks, so it became a pretty dead space here. Eventually, I met some friends (thank you internet) and one thing lead to another and I ran into New York Jedi, a lightsaber Stage Combat group that creates their own characters and choreograph their own fights. There were two fights I saw during my first exposure that struck me, the first was with my friend Jenna and her now husband (my now writing partner and co Storyteller) Brandon. The other was a fight between my friend Jester and her now husband Jason. These were two geek women holding it down and being just as good, if not better, than their male counterparts.

When I first joined the club, I was greeted by Maria, an instructor in the group. She taught me the basic principles of the club and how to use a saber. She was capable both in and out of the club and I considered her to be my de facto Master and Teacher. My friends Melissa, Courtney, Heather and Taran are all geeks and all woman and can probably kick most guys asses with minimal prompting. So as far as first lessons into the geek world were concerned, learning about the rarity and inferiority of women in the culture was decidedly not one of them.

Now on to LARPing where I have my friend Abby making Changeling the Lost her own and selling delightfully batshit insane and fucked up characters to the masses. Ericka goes to the wall and delivers some of the most emotional roleplay I've ever seen while Shoshana develops, organizes and tests new sandboxes for the rest of her fellow geeks and nerds. I go to LARPs and meet the women there and each one of them is talented, intelligent, dedicated, and outright beautiful.

It's a good time to be a geek, guys, get out of the basement and celebrate your sister nerds.

Later

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Props: Anchoring the Character Down.

So I've stated before in several blogs and in several other posts out there that I am guilty of one interminable thing:  I really suck at costuming.

I've been a member of New York Jedi for over four years. Not once have I ever worn the robes. My costume was that of a smuggler. I've been to Ren Faires and never once got to put on the good clothes, or even the peasant clothes. I've been a vampire, a mage, a changeling and god-knows-what-else. If none of my clothes came out of my closet, I'd be screwed.

The comment I had said to someone about costuming in Dystopia Rising was: If it wasn't for the fact it was post apocalyptic, I wouldn't be able to play. Even in my day to day, my clothing choices are "Is it within reach?" "Did I wear it more than twice this week?" "Am I actually interacting with people today to care how I look?". Hell, I'm lucky I color coordinate most days, even and that's only because I wear a lot of solid colors. I am good at really one thing when it comes to getting dressed:

I can accessorize.

...okay, that probably came out sounding weird to you...I tried, but work with me here.

Because of my less-than-stellar sense of costume design, I have adopted the "Fake it tile you make it" school of roleplaying. You believe hard enough until it becomes fact. It is a cornerstone of Role Play in general. Instead of being in a studio with a bunch of geeks, you're a vampire laughing about the morally corrupt cult you're using as the base of your power. Instead of an apartment cramped in with your best friends, you're a Mage talking about deep-sixing the evil Conspiracy. We're not dressed exactly as our characters are, but we try to go damned close. And the only time someone comes in wearing a note-tag that says "Am wearing a suit" are in horrible situations where the Tailor has stalled or you've been conscripted to play an NPC on the fly.

Dystopia Rising and Boffer/Immersive LARPs have the benefit/challenge of being physically run in an area that demands you dress in character, that the world exists as it really is, and so should you. Even the NPCs have a costume department. I'm not as good as that, so I go to my go to place. I crack out my prop kit and start looking at stuff I can use.

Props to me represent anchors in the characters persona. These are items that they use, that function in their lives. Clothes factor into this, in a way, but it's easier for me to see (and procure) smaller items. Also, smaller items can tend to be more customized and can speak more about an individual than clothes can. A Suit can tell you they're rich, but rings and bracelets tell you they have more than that. A shirt and jeans can tell you something, the cross around their neck tells you more. It's that last part that I like best, you don't have to say it, you don't have to hammer some points about your character down for others to see. If people are looking they will notice, and the story is told in the way it should be. It's a prop, it supports the characters background.

I guess it's easiest to use my Jed character as the primary example. Let's be real here, Star Wars has been a prop-makers dreams. All of the ship, costume, weapons and items that that series has produced is obscene. Primary of them all is the world's most popular butter knife: The Lightsaber. Each one is built by their owner for their precise use. Each one is a statement about that character. Are you crisp and clean in a one handed saber that supports fencing? Do you prefer two handed sabers for some power strokes. Did you prefer the exotic saber staff or the guard shotos? These things mattered and said just as much about you as your costume did. For my PC, Rave, I had a two handed saber. He was a master of Shii Cho combat, barreling through groups of fighters in broad strokes and wide arcs. He was a bulldozer in a sea of mooks

When I first built Rhys, My Mage, I wanted to bring in stuff that said "This is a guy who is from the streets of New York...but is a fucking Mage from the streets of New York". He wore a black jacket with a hood attached, he spoke like he knew better (and in some ways he did). He also carried with him a deck of tarot cards, a sack full of colored crystals, a pendulum and an ornate book that had his spells and notes in them. During game, I would often crack these out and make rituals with them. When I first did it, my Storyteller was so impressed I got bonuses. I didn't fuck about. But no one asked "Well where did he get the crystals, or the bracelet around his wrist he used to cast spells" it was taken for granted that he was a Mage, and these things happened.

Taglia's prop was, in fact, a glass of wine. I felt better in character as the Mekhet Lush was trying desperately to drown out his depression with one more glass of Lacrima. I blame my friends in game for giving me this prop, but frankly it made for interesting twitches for his character when he did or didn't have it.

Jacob Rude in DR is a fun one, and kind of a refinement of that attitude. It helps that he has to have his costume. But his Mask, the thing most Retrogrades have, wear, is specialized for him. I wrote on his mask some letters in Aurebesh, the alphabet they use in Star Wars. In character he doesn't know what it means, but to me it's his Character's legacy and story. That mask, the bag he wears to hold his gear and the cross around his neck. They all tell a story.

I remember, though, in my first months of Storytelling for the Mage the Awakening game, making a fuss over physical representations in my storytelling. It was a Salon LARP, which deals more in "you imagine a thing in your hands". I had the props and people glossed over them. Which is sad, because the amount of work put into it was painstaking. I might be refuting my own stance (which if you know me, explains EVERYTHING), because I've also noticed the trend that sometimes you need to bash the players between the eyes for them to get something, whether it be plot or character stuff. To this day, no one realized Taglia was suicidal or Declan was a coward, because frankly it wasn't obvious.


I still stand by the fact that props are good to have because they fill in the blanks of your PCs stories. They give more depth and the feel that this character has been through stuff in their lives or knows what they are talking about. This is to help you as a player get into these characters minds. So, here are a few tips in proper prop use:

1) Each major item should have a story or function. Each major piece (by  that I mean an item you're designating a prop and not just basic gear) you bring in to a game should be there for a reason. College ring, family heirloom, magically tinged item. This should tell you (and whatever discerning audience there is) about them. Give it meaning, these items take on fetish like qualities in that you've placed special meaning on them for these characters.

2) Don't mention them unless asked. This is ultimately less about other people and more about you being able to slip into these characters and telling their story without having to tell their story aloud. Show, but don't tell is the preferred storytelling method. If you have to sit and talk about why your ring symbolizes your PC witnessing the death of his brother's roommates dog, then you've failed. Again, give it meaning to yourself, and others will notice. You're playing for the long term, you might as well give yourself some mysteries to.

In the end, Props help. The key is to make sure that the props don't become the act and don't become reliant on them to tell your story. These are to aid you, not do the job for you. Have fun, and I hope to see what you guys come up with.

And with that, I'll leave you a video of some of my props:



Later

Monday, July 8, 2013

Trust



Something I was told repeatedly during my Counseling training: you and your client(s) are in a relationship. The Counselor is there to be there for the client and the client is there to seek a guide in the Counselor. This isn't, however, a given thing. It has to be built up, it has to be cultivated. The first few sessions are used to build up rapport and understanding of both the mechanical aspects as well as making it a place where both are comfortable. Ultimately, this is leads to one major component in therapy: Trust.

You can't effectively work in therapy without trusting someone. If the patient doesn't trust the counselor, there is no transition. If the counselor doesn't trust the patient, there is no transition. Trust is a key factor, without it, you're just two people sitting there wasting time.

This, unsurprisingly, brings me to LARPing.

I think it's safe to say at this point that I value Role Play as a tool to explore, hypothesize and otherwise mess with emotions. What can I say? I liked Gestalt in undergrad. This is my core as being a Storyteller, to explore the emotions behind these characters, to challenge them as much as the players who portray them. I've made my stance very clear to my players and, well, everyone within earshot of this blog. I also take my role as storyteller in the same vein as being a counselor, I am there for players the same way I am for clients which brings me back to my point.

There needs to be trust.

I've run in to players, both as a storyteller and as a player, whose styles clash with my own and the people I tend to work with. This often isn't a problem, it happens. It does tend to cause a problem when those styles lead to a conflict of methodology. Mostly I do tend to break it down from the Game/Narrative/Simulation Model. My Narrativist leanings clashing from those trying to represent the genre better or trying to win. This is fine, as long as there is trust.

But what if there isn't?

What happens when players don't trust each other isn't pretty. Their character's dramas take on subtext, which leads to acts of metagaming, using your knowledge of the other players behavior instead of your characters knowledge of their characters. Our last Requiem Chronicle died at the end because People. Did Not. Trust Each Other.  And it died, and people left, and in many ways we're still feeling the wake  of it nearly six months later. This spins the other way around. I've seen Storytellers clamp down on all approvals and on all of their players actions because they just didn't trust them or were afraid of losing control of their venue. Those games, quite frankly, sucked.

To be perfectly honest, I have trust issues. I was never good in those group exercises when you've fallen backwards to let someone catch you. I've had far too many experiences where people didn't just to have a laugh. I try, very hard, to trust people, or at the very least put faith that my players are there for the same reasons I am. At the very least, I would wish to meet people half way.

But trust is a two way street. So, what do we do when parties don't or can't make the best of it? It's a difficult choice when you're in a Larp Club where the Storytellers have year-to-two year-runs and there is no real recourse. I've personally stopped going to games where I've just not trusted the Storyteller to do right by me or the venue. I've seen players leave my games because they don't trust me to support their needs.


So what can be done?

So here are my top suggestions for creating a better LARPing experience through trust:

BE HONEST . Don't worry about what other people want to hear, be honest to those around you and those you're working with what you want in a gaming experience. I'd rather have an honest asshole munchkining about than someone who is telling me one thing and doing the exact opposite. Don't tell me something if you're worried I'm going to judge you or punish you in game.We're all having fun pretendy times with invisible people, the point of judgment and the need to be popular died very quickly. So be honest with what you want out of the process.

BE OPEN. In short, we are not alone in this thing. I play games that range from dozens to hundreds of players. I've honestly seen people treat this game as their private playground with everyone else there visiting. We're all in this together and this is much, in everyway, a group experience. Understand that your ways are not others and accept them, possibly integrating and bridging your styles together to get the best bang for your buck. Which leads me to...

COMPROMISES HAPPEN. There is a wish fulfillment aspect to LARPing, but one that is based on rules and governed. Again, this comes from the fact that there are other people coming into this game with different goals, both as players and storytellers. A lot of people feel that some of their storytellers are geared to say no. I'm geared to say no only if I really don't think it's appropriate for this time, but I tend to err on the "if you want to go for this Merit/Power/Spec/Whatever, we can build up to it." Usually, it works, sometimes it doesn't.


TALK. No one can know anything if nothing is said. I've seen people (and been people) who have stewed over something and let it fester but not once voice an opinion. This is problematic and stupid. Talking is also paradoxical in it's approach. You need to communicate to build trust, but you also need to trust that your communications will be heard. I've been in situations like that too, and ultimately my major suggestion to build that is to say this: if it's something you feel NEEDS addressing, it SHOULD be addressed. Even if you're not the one usually to initiate discourse, someone has got to start it somewhere.

KNOW WHEN IT'S JUST NOT WORKING OUT. Honestly, sometimes it does not work out and someone has got to back out of the relationship. Unfortunately for the staff, they are there until their terms are up, making it more or less a consideration "easier" for the players. Of course, I've also come across votes of No Confidence and otherwise disregarding of the Storyteller by players. In the end, it screws the game. Be the better man, terms come and go. If you're a Storyteller who feels that their stepping down is the appropriate action, do so promptly, honestly and help the person replacing you to transition into the position.

To close off, I'm going to tell an anecdote. This past weekend (July 5th-9th 2013) was DexCon. During that, my friends at Dystopia Rising did a module. That module was inspired primarily by the Stanford Prison Experiment. I'm not going to go into the details, Google It. I will say that this: I wish I could have gone. Not just because I wanted to see how they'd do it, but because I know the game runners. I trust them to take me to the dark places but to also respect my rights as a player and a person.

If that isn't trust, I don't know what is.

Later